Archive for the 'Gardening Humor' Category

Vegetable Gardening for Beginners

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Vegetables are easy to grow and are very rewarding at harvest time. The most important requirements are sunshine and watering. Other requirements are a loosened soil, some fertilizer, and a little bit of weeding. If you have an area in your yard that gets sunshine most of the day (6-8 hours in summer) then you can have a vegetable garden. The first time you start a new garden requires the most amount of work, but don’t get discouraged, the work you do in the beginning does not have to be done again each year.

The ground that the plants will grow in needs to be loosened up so that the roots of the tender vegetable plants can grow into your soil and make strong, healthy plants. The roots are the only way the plant takes up water and nutrients so you want to make their job easy. Unfortunately, soil found in most yards has become compacted over the years and can be as hard as concrete in summer. Therefore, the best time to dig your garden is early spring when it is moist enough to dig easily but not so wet that the soil is muddy and heavy. The first step is to mark out your spot making sure there are no trees or large shrubs around it with roots that will spread into your garden. Then, remove the grass and create some type of border around the garden to keep it neat and weed free. I also recommend a short fence if you have pets, as the garden can easily be mistaken for a large litter box.

You must dig your soil to loosen the clumps and allow air in, which will allow the roots to breathe (yes, they need air also). The depth that I recommend is at least 12″. It seems like a lot when you are digging but keep in mind that your tomato plants will extend their roots approximately 2 feet down into the soil. I use a large digging fork and involve my whole family but a rototiller makes short work of it. Rakes also help in smoothing the soil out after the digging is done. You should add about 2″ of compost at this point and mix it into the soil well. Do not add too much, 10-20% of the soil should be compost, but no more than that or you will over- fertilize your garden. When it looks like a good place to lie down and take a nap then you are ready to plant. You may also need Lime or Gypsum in your garden to correct the Ph. If you live in an area with lots of rainfall, add lime every year, about 1 pound per 100 sq. feet. If you have low rainfall amounts each year, you may need to add some Gypsum to new gardens to remove some of the salt content. Check with your local garden center for the correct amount. Continue reading ‘Vegetable Gardening for Beginners’

Start Planning a Vegetable Garden

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Light Requirements

Vegetables, like many flowers, need lots of sunlight to thrive and produce tasty vegetables. Most vegetables need full sunlight, which gardeners define as six or more hours of sunlight per day. This direct sunlight stimulates the plant’s cells to produce the food it needs through photosynthesis to build a strong root system and produce fruit.

Many people are confused about what type of light they have in the garden. Try this simple test. Pick a day when you’re home and can observe the garden. Take a look at the garden area you want to grow vegetables in first thing in the morning, and write down whether or not the sun is actually touching the ground. Look for full, bright sun, not dappled sunlight filtering through tree leaves. Now set a kitchen timer or alarm clock and return to your observation once an hour or once every two hours until dinnertime, marking down how much light the spot in the garden receives. Then, add up all the times you saw direct light. This will give you an idea of whether you’re working with full sun, partial sun or shade.

While you can grow some vegetables in partial sun, most will struggle. If the entire yard gets only partial sun or shade due to immovable objects like garages, homes, or trees in neighbors’ yards, look for a place that gets bright direct sunlight and grow vegetables in pots instead. Continue reading ‘Start Planning a Vegetable Garden’

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Planting pumpkin seeds is a quick and easy way to jumpstart a lush garden, but gardeners should be careful to plant seeds appropriately for the healthiest plants with the highest yield.

Types of Pumpkins

Pumpkins come in an amazing variety of sizes, ranging from just a few ounces to behemoths that weigh more than 500 pounds. Colors can also range from a pale cream or white to pink or red hues, including every conceivable shade of orange. Classic jack-o-lantern pumpkins, however, are Connecticut field pumpkins that generally weigh in between 10 and 20 pounds and are a bright, solid orange color. Planting seeds to grow your own pumpkins, whether you want to experiment with unusual varieties or just want a good crop of carving pumpkins, is easy and enjoyable for both novice and experienced gardeners.

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The Honorable Ninja Gardener (Funny)

A fun vid of the Honorable Ninja Gardener

Weird/Strange Things or Items found in gardens

These are the list of things/items that are strangely place in a garden. Whether they are from different countries, each has there own unique ideas about gardening.

-I have a huge piece of driftwood that resembles Darth Vader ~ Dibble

-A broken air conditioner that makes a good potting table ~ Shirl

-The neatest thing I saw was a whole row of old bowling balls, lined up in a
curving border underneath a row of hostas. The foliage overflowed the
bowling balls. ~ Molly

-The neatest thing I saw was a whole row of old bowling balls, lined up in a
curving border underneath a row of hostas. The foliage overflowed the
bowling balls. ~ Molly

-I have pair of pink plastic flamingos and a wooden carving of a Little
Blue Heron.  ~ Karen

-My wife for one, a collection of old bowling balls is another, and various skulls. But the funniest looking thing must be me. ~ John

-In my garden lives the bottom half of a naked mannequin, turned upside
down, as if she has just plunged into the earth. I change her slippers
each month to fit the season. ~ Rose of Charlotte

-The broken down, stripped remains of a 1988 Suzuki Samurai which my
husband dragged into the garden for parts for his own truck. I’m going
to fill it with earth and daisies this year! ~ Jill

-I have the Holy Grail. It’s buried at about 200 meters depth. ~ Jorge

-I have a fairly realistic looking statue of a Native American, hunting, but he’s only about two feet tall. ~ Judi

For more: http://www.golden.net/~dhobson/constrange.html

Sexy Gardening

Bra Garden

This Picture is supposedly a small plant a little sexy twist….grrr

This originated in Australia as a fundraising venture to find a cure for breast cancer.